Friday, 26 September 2014

Pedicure Promises: I've been deFEETED.

YOU have to admire the marketing cleverness of my local beauty salon.

I am walking past, when the offer jumps out at me: Half price pedicures - this week only.
I stop, glance down at my poor, sore feet. Destroyed after a summer of flip-flops and stony beaches and walking barefoot around my garden. Carefully applied nail polish just window dressing over the cracks.
And I can't even hide them in winter boots yet. The warm weather stretches.
I sidle in. The whole place smells pink. A glossy haired, perfectly made-up twentysomething beams as I approached the reception desk.
'Good morning, do you have an appointment?'
'Er, no.'
'Oh.' She frowns and peers at her diary. I can feel my resolve waiver.
'What are you interested in having done and we'll see when we can fit you in.' Another toothy smile.  
'Well, would you have anything today?' I ask.
She grimaces, shaking her head.
'Is it an emergency?'
I hesitate. What sort of emergencies necessitate a visit to the beauty salon? A chipped nail? A spot on your nose?
'I was just wondering about the half price pedicures.'
She nods.
'This week only.'
'But you've nothing left this week.'
'I could fit you in next week. We're doing Autumn deal specials.'
'Same price?'
Well no, but we've fantastic value in facial peels.'
I sigh.
'Book me in.'
She turns some pages. 'Right, what time Monday would you like?'
I re-emerge into the sun and study my feet again. It doesn't really matter, I tell myself. By Monday the weather might have changed and my feet will be safely tucked back into boots.
Short of wearing a paper bag over my head, however...

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