IT'S happened again: they've changed all the rules about food. And I have to quickly admit here, that I don't even know who 'they' are. The World Health Organisation, maybe? At least I hope it's them. I can get on board with the W.H.O.
You've probably heard about it. 'Twas all anyone was talking about a couple of weeks ago. How we should eat. How much of it we should eat. How we'll all live to be 150 if we eat it.
OK, I made that last bit up. But you know the way these things tend to get a bit exaggerated. Just thought I'd do my bit. Ahem.
Where was I? Oh, right, the new food rules. Principals, if you like. Guidelines. Here goes:
1. Cut your meat and meat-related protein back to miniscule proportions.
I mean, this is not the exact wording, you understand. I'm popping in my own interpretation/bias/opinion.
But it's mad stuff. I mean, I don't eat huge amounts of meat or fish. But if I follow this, I'll be eating about half a chicken breast a week, and one tiny fillet of fish and like, one egg.*
Given that you're supposed to eat protein every day, I give you the second rule.
2. Substitute animal protein with plant based proteins.
We're talking beans and pulses, here, which I do eat. Usually in a casserole. With sausages. Then there's tofu. Anyone know what tofu tastes like? I asked someone who's eaten it. Nothing, they admitted. And it has a funny texture. You have to marinate it overnight.
They weren't exactly selling it to me. Then they said that it goes very well with Asian food. To be perfectly honest, I was a bit depressed when I heard that. It's not that I don't like Asian food. I'm just rubbish at cooking it.
3. Eat tonnes of vegetables and fruit.
Apparently, your main meal of the day should look something a bit like the following. Half of your plate should be veggies: the brighter, the better. Your carbs should be the size of a very tightly closed fist.
I had a look at that. It's not too bad if it's a potato. Like every Irish person, I love my spuds. But it's not an awful lot if you're talking about rice or pasta. Your protein, plant or animal based, should fit neatly into the palm of your hand.
You've probably gathered by now that I'm not one of those vegans. I know it's on trend right now, and I admire and respect their choices, but I think I'd find it hard to be vegetarian. I'm one of those strange, old fashioned types that loves everything. Meat and plants. Fish and fruit.
But increasingly, I'm feeling out of step. Omnivore has become a dirty word. Seriously like, if I said I go around beating people up (I don't) or telling children there are no unicorns (when obviously there are), I don't think I'd get such a hard time from certain quarters.
However....having said all that, and I have to say I'm feeling a bit better after my rant, I've given it a bit of thought. Not initially, obviously. I mean, the first morning I heard it on the news, I was searching for something to make for breakfast.
I have an appetite like a teenage boy in the mornings. Don't try to suggest a croissant and a bit of fruit to me, or I'll throw it at you. That morning, there were rashers in the fridge that had to be used up, so I grilled them with a fried egg.
But all the talk about how we should all be eating has sort of seeped into my brain. Osmosis at work. Or brainwashing. But the good sort of brainwashing, I suppose.
I had a salad for lunch yesterday. Admittedly, it was a bit cold, eating all that salad in the middle of winter. Vegetable soup will do just as well, apparently. Especially if it's homemade.
Live long and prosper. Maybe I'll make it to a hundred and ten.
*Not exact amounts.
Anyone else feel there were about 275 days in January?? Anyway, here in Ireland, we celebrate St Bridget's Day on February 1st and hope that we'll get a kind Spring. Belated happy St Bridget's Day to you.
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